It was such a beautiful day that we spent over an hour outside at the park. This is Jane and Carter. A little easier for me to do then 2 swings that are not next to each other.
Also on March 10th we took a quick trip (24hr) to Scappoose to see Quinncy blessed by her daddy Jon. It was wonderful and I almost missed it. Lately I have been drowning. That feeling that you are doing everything and nothing is working. I was having a hard time with my 2 kids plus someone else's, I was doing so much to loose weight and nothing. My feelings on church were dark and sad. I love the gospel and the faith and truth I knew but I was getting nothing because all I did was wrestle a 14 month old. (you've been there) I was intending to go to the blessing then I thought I could have 24 hrs to my self. No kids to take care, no one to cook for and no one to clean up after. I could do whatever I wanted. I needed it and was hoping it would help me not feel so low in a life that was actually really good. Then about 10:35pm on friday night i looked at Chris and said "I should go shouldn't I" He said" I will not tell you what to do, you make this decision" I knew in the end that I would regret not being there for my niece on such a big day for her and I knew that so many other people ( em and gma rass ) would have given anything to be there. So I packed a few things and I left with Chris and the kids the next morning.
I was glad I went and I hate to say but these airplane pictures are the only ones I got while we were there. The weather was so great we played outside for like 4 hrs. The kids made memories and I did too.
I am still drowning but there are moments I feel like I am swimming...with a raft hauling my family, In the end I am grateful to have my family, especially a husband who is kind and loving and listens even when he doesn't understand. To know I can talk to him about anything is so rewarding and fulfilling.
I also just want to say that I love being a mom, it is a job that I signed up for, a job that I am blessed to have. My children bring me joy and love that I can not get from anyone.
1 comment:
Sorry you are feeling so down :( !! Just know you aren't alone when you feel like you are drowning and barely keeping your chin above water - several of us are right there with you. Hopefully, with the Lord's help, we can all help each other!
Hang in there! You are one amazing, strong and resilient woman and you are a blessing in the lives of your children! (((HUGS)))
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